Everyday I receive dilemmas of different kind. Just when I thought I had read and heard it all, there will be a particular sms, call or email that will bring me to another dimension.
This was what I had received in an email :
'Hi Fiza, saya ada problem dalam relationship saya. Boyfriend saya ialah saudara dekat saya sendiri. Kami suka antara satu sama lain sejak kecil lagi cuma baru-baru ini, kami membuat keputusan untuk bersama setelah membuat research yg kami boleh kahwin. Masalah kami sekarang ialah saudara-mara asyik menanyakan tentang kami seolah-olah mereka menghalang dan tidak setuju dengan perhubungan kami. Saya dan boyfriend saya kini berumur dua puluhan tahun, kami pasti kami berfikiran matang dalam hal sebegini. Fiza, kami berdua tidak tahu apa yg harus kami buat untuk mereka menerima kami sebagai pasangan. Tolong saya fiza.'
What are your thoughts?
Or have u been in one?
love,
fiza
Hard to comment... Coz relationship w/o the family's blessings is gonna be tough indeed. Folks are against family marriage probably coz they haf heard of stories, eg.. Such couples getting an abnormal child because chromosomes clashed, these couples got into a fight/divorce hence family ties affected.
ReplyDeleteUnless of coz the couple can convinced their family that after much research, they can get married afterall by Islamic law.
Or maybe they should ask their family why they are so against their marriage, den can work things out from there?
But one advice tho, sometimes when family say No, mungkin ada hikmah sebalik tentangan mereka.. Afterall, family is family.
But one thing i can never deny, if they decide to respect the folks' decisions, it is gonna be hard for them to face each other in the future whenever they bump into each other during family gatherings, and having to contain the feelings for each other and displaying that neutral cousin-cousn rship.
In life, you can't please everyone.
ReplyDeleteWhen my mum's extended family or 'sedares' found out that my parents divorced especially that my mum asked for the divorce, they abandoned us. They called me, my siblings and my mum names and said that we have been possessed. They wanted to come to my house and
'sertu' us and had 'kenduris' where they would pray to 'save us'. We only met them on Hari Raya and kebumian, (yang wajib).
Last year after 5 years of this incident, they apologised but I guess its too late. To this couple, if Allah swt is on your side then i think you should go through with it. Mati hidup, susah senang kiter yang tanggung bukan orang lain. Tak mati kalau takder sedare. My family is a living example.
Those who mind don't matter, those who matter don't mind.
Hi Fiza,
ReplyDeletetadi i heard regarding a lady solemise on 30th Dec 2011 but now husband ask for a divorce. Inai masih merah dijari..ada ke dia terpikir even now when she were to tell her family abt this they will be sad n dissapointed. kan senang bilang before majlis rather then now.. Fiza, tell her to go to womens charter or get the maricans family lawyer to help. They are good lawyers.
Anyway, whoever the lady is, i'm so sorry to heard this. I shed tears thinking what u have to go thru. i may not be in yr shoes but sebagai perempuan dah isteri, saya dapat merasa kan kepedihan yg dilalui oleh kakak tu.
Minta pada tuhan pertunjuk. Seandainya ini bukan jodoh kakak, biarlah dia pergi dari bersamer tapi takde ape perasaan pun tuk akak mahligai pun tak bahagia. Kuat kan semangat. Jangan tunjuk kan kelemahan kita perempuan. Ini bukan nak mengutuk atau mengajar yg tak baik, saya harap akak tak mengandung, kerna bukan senang jadi ibu tunggal di singapura ni. tapi kalau itu rezki akak, terima dan jaga anak itu. Rezki Tuhan, Insya allah akak dan anak akak bahagia tanpa dia disisi.