Friday, August 19, 2011

Her dad chose her helper over her mom. And she needs your opinion.

Hi friends, one of my main purposes of creating a blog was also to create a space to the nice people who is are willing to share their stories with me. The people who are so in need of a listening ear. Those who need opinions from nice people like you. But at the same time, still keeping their identity confidential.

If you would like to give your opinions, please post below.
And if u'd like to email to me, it's at fizao897@gmail.com

There's always a first.
It can be your first email ever to me. Whatever it is, I'll be waiting.

And here it is, the first post on a gf's dilemma.

"hmm btw i nak comment tentang topic yang kak fiza sedang ketengahkan.. i would like to share my personal secret tapi untuk kebaikkan semua dan pengajaran semua.. sudah terlambat untuk saya.. ohh please don't mention my name..

sekarang ini abah saya sedang ada hubungan dengan maid saya sendiri.. mereka sudah bersama sejak mama saya cerai dengan abah saya.. saya tidak tahu sama ada dialah punca perceraian itu kerana masa itu saya masih kecil.. saya dan 2 lagi adik beradik saya tentunya tidak setuju.. saya pernah di pukul ayah kerana membela adik saya (ayah dapat handphone baru, dia sudah berjanji mahu beri pada adik saya, tetapi apabila pembantu saya nampak handphone itu, dia mahu yang baru, kemudian ayah bagi pembantu saya, dan hp yang pembantu saya pakai yang sudah rosak diberi pada adik saya) siapa tak marah kan? dan saya sebagai kakak yang pertama berdepan dengan abah saya..

kak fiza.. tolong lah saya tak tahu apa yang dia mahukan dari abah saya.. abah saya gemuk,sudah mahu masuk 50 lebih tahun.. dan pembantu saya SUDAH BERSUAMI DAN ADA 1 ANAK..(belum bercerai)

saudara2 saya semua tidak suka kelluarga saya lagi.. mereka selalu tanya pada saya kenapa saya tidak berbuat sesuatu.. tapi saya tidak mahu bergaduh dengan abah saya sendiri.. apa sepatutnya saya buat??

saya mahu report pada agency pembantu saya tetapi nanti abah saya yang kena ..

saya takut kak fiza.. mereka tidur di satu bilik.. bersama adik kecil lelaki saya .. tetapi adik bukannya selalu ada di rumah... dia tidur di rumah mama saya... argggghhhhhh..."


So what'd u say?

lots of love, chocolate and hugs,
fiza

22 comments:

  1. Salams c: hmmmm.... saat2 genting macam nie selalunya kita bole buat solat sunat hajat or pegi jumpa ustaz2 yg bertauliah. InsyAllah, setiap tersimpul akan terhurai. Setiap yg masalah ada jalan penyelesaian. Nak cakap byk or kasi nasihat pada ayahnya pun da tak 'lut' pada saat ini. Allah maha mengetahui yg buruk & baik.

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  2. Hi fiza, my advice is,belum lambat lagi utk memperbetulkan keadaan.. dis girl sepatut nyer report to the agency and she should stand up for her rights and for her siblings. Since ayah nye tak peduli/kisah pasal anak2 nye sendiri,why should she bother bout her father since he's crazy over dat maid kan?

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  3. Im still wondering why this young lass is staying with the father? I still think that this case has to be reported to the agency. A maid having an affair with employer is an offence, no?

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  4. just report to the agency. its for her own good. She has to do this for the sake of her younger siblings too. Things will continue to be this way if she doesnt report. at least when she reports, actions will be taken towards the maid, perhaps towards her dad too. they deserve it.

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  5. hi EataEmpire & Anonymous.. thanx for the advise.. i'm the girl yang share this story at kak fiza.. i really wanted to report to agency.. but im scared la.. coz nanti i kehilangan my dad.. i love him soo much.. dia yang menjaga saya dan adik2 saya sejak mama cerai(7 tahun lepas).. saya minta nasihat dari kawan2 saya .. mereka pun kata yang sama.. suruh report tapi saya takut abah kena saman yang banyak atau pun masuk jail.. saya tak mahu itu berlaku.. itu pasal saya diam selama ini.. macam mana eh?

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  6. Dear.. Y not, talk to ur dad.. Tel him tat u wud report it, if his stil d same.. Lagi bgs menyesal dulu Dari kemudian.. Mmg easier say dn done.. Bt since ur d eldest, stnd up fr ur right.. Sometimes parents need to b reminded to not only us babe.. Tink wisely, u rather keep quiet or make tinks right for the sake of ur other siblings dear. :)

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  7. Bincanglah diantara adik beradik dan abah saudari tanpa maid itu bersama. Kalau bagus, mintalah adik beradik abah saudari turut hadir didalam perbincangan itu. Luahkan perasaan anda adik beradik dan apa jua keputusan hendak lah semua pihak terima dgn buka hati dan tanpa perasaan geram.

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  8. Hi. Sape tak sayang ayah kan? But even if you don't do it now, you'll still do it later when times are bad & when you're brave enough to stand up for your siblings. But you should know that the more you drag the case, when the authority finds out later in life, the punishment can be more than what he should be receiving. Kita boley berbohong sesama manusia, tapi tidak pada yang esa. I've been through it sis. Will pray for your well being & insyaAllah a good sister to your siblings. (:

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  9. Hi dear.. Well sad to say u cun take 2 tings at 1 time. Wat im trying to say is dat tho u luv ur dad sooo very much n yet dis is wat he return bk to u. Hving an affair wif maid is an offence. N by putting quiet abt it menunjuk kn u menggalak kn ur dad berzina. So i guess ur big enuff to mk ur own decision. Stay firm n juz tink of ur family!! Peace <3

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  10. To all.. it's me again.. let me just say my name as "s".... actually once me and my siblings had a group discussion with my dad.. he was okay to talk at first.. but after a while he gets very2 mad at us because he said that we all should "accept the situation & don't blame the maid" then things become worst.. he started to beat my youngest brother for small matters.. i know he porposely do that because he thinks that all of us are against him... i mean i seriously don't mind if we were to have a new step mom.. "makcik rocker" pun i don't mind.. but seriously not my maid.. dia dah banyak do masalah in my family.. all i do is i cry.. and share with my boyfriend.. and my bf advise is just for us to quickly save money and we will just get married and i will follow him to his hometown(not in sg).... this is my only plan for now.. my other sis she's currently studying & she does her own things.. yang kesian my last bro.. he's now growing into a teenager and no one care's for him.. he started to pick up smoking, very hot tempered and getting very naughtier.. i know i don't blame him.. as a sister i only can advise him and help him as much as i can.. but im working full time (shift) + study(part time) and i support my ownself... my mom is on her own with her bf.. she can't help much coz she no longer part of my family...

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  11. Hi S,

    You need to step one back and look at the whole situation. Sometimes in life you have to make a decision. It's very worrying to know about your younger brother. If you don't step up, things will get worse. It's good to know that you are independent. SO you should DO the right thing buy reporting. Have a discussion with your siblings. Esp your younger brother. Whatever the outcome (being ur dad get fine or etc) it will be a lesson learned. PLUS it your duty as a muslim to stop the adultery that is happening. Good to know that you take you role as an eldest sister seriously, thus you should step up and lead the way. IF in doubt, you could speak to your closest aunties or uncle?

    All the best.

    -Lidz-

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  12. Hi...but yet u still need to report to the agency..what ever matter u need to settle this problem, come on...something need to be done...dalam undang2 salah dalam hukum pun salah...remember that..later on ur dad will understand why u do all this...my dear u cant solve the problem just by getting married n have a new life...bimbing ur father to jalan yang benar...jangan takot allah sayang umatnya yang gigih dan tahu mane yang baik dan buruk dan membimbing orang yang jahil atau lupa tentang allah...

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  13. Hi...but yet u still need to report to the agency..what ever matter u need to settle this problem, come on...something need to be done...dalam undang2 salah dalam hukum pun salah...remember that..later on ur dad will understand why u do all this...my dear u cant solve the problem just by getting married n have a new life...bimbing ur father to jalan yang benar...jangan takot allah sayang umatnya yang gigih dan tahu mane yang baik dan buruk dan membimbing orang yang jahil atau lupa tentang allah...

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  14. Hi...but yet u still need to report to the agency..what ever matter u need to settle this problem, come on...something need to be done...dalam undang2 salah dalam hukum pun salah...remember that..later on ur dad will understand why u do all this...my dear u cant solve the problem just by getting married n have a new life...bimbing ur father to jalan yang benar...jangan takot allah sayang umatnya yang gigih dan tahu mane yang baik dan buruk dan membimbing orang yang jahil atau lupa tentang allah...

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  15. Just by reading a few i can understand the situation. Normal story to hear in my life. A real man will never leave a man. In this case ( no offence ) he never grew up he can never be called a wise man. I'm in the same situation as you but mine is not a maid. the only thing you can do now is make a decision on what to do. protect your love ones live everyday like it's your last and find the strength to make it through. your the eldest, think wisely and make the right choice. God will give you the answer. Lastly that maid is in it for the cash nothing else. Stupid S.O.B!

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  16. dalam masalah yg mengaitkan pembantu rumah indon,perkara begini lazim nya akan terjadi. dari pengalaman saya mengenali pembantu2 rumah lain,saya mendapati sebelum mereka dtg kemari,mereka dibekal kan satu bungkusan utk diri mereka.maaf ckp,ia bukan benda yg baik. benda itu mereka sembunyikan dlm baggage special mereka yg telah dijahit dgn rapi tanpa blh di kesan siapa2 pun..kadang2 pembantu rumah ini semua mereka cuma inginkan harta saja..asset yg ketara ada duit cpf dan rumah..ini semua byk da jadi depan mata saya. CUma lah minta pertolongan dari ulama2 i singapura ini.Bukan BOMOH tapi ahli agama yg kita ada di masjid2 disini atau pergilah jumpa Habib di Masjid2. terangkan masalah nya dan insya'allah mereka dpt membantu.orang yg pandai dlm agama akan mendapat alamat pertanda buruk sekiranya memang ada benda yg tak baik.Cuba lah,kerana jika mengunakan kekerasan atau pergaduhan antara anak dan bapak,benda tidak akan mendatangkan kebaikkan kerana ada orang yg akan mengapi-api kan awak sekeluarga..

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  17. saya setuju dgn Anonymous. Adik harus berikhtiar demi kepentingan keluarga adik. takkan selamanya adik nak biarkan perkara maksiat ni berlaku di depan mata adik !

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  18. Hai Fiza....terus terang i ckp ah..first thing...abah nye da kena "minderem"..so she must kena buat "sesuatu" untok "puleh"kan abah nye !!! if not....trus me fiza my word!!!she n adek2 nye "TIDAK AKAN ADA RUMAH" i mean kena "HALAUUUUU" !!! percaya la !!!!!

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  19. Dear Fiza,saya an Indonesian who working as a maid also in here.N saya benar benar merasa malu dengan apa yang telah diperbuat oleh THAT F*CKING STUPID MAID.I am very sure that what she s after from THAT MAN (Abah)is only money.Saya sarankan to Kakak (Daughter of Abah) to tetap tabah n meminta pertolongan dari Allah SWT.Insyaallah di bulan Suci Ramadhan ini Allah akan memberikan pertolonhgan N membuka mata hati THAT MAID N That Man to kembali kejalan yang benar N ingat kepada anak anaknya.N saya srankan juga to kakak to report this matter to the maid agency.This is not the 1st time for me to heard this kind of case n i realy am very shameful N sorry to heard this again.Also i am very angry with that STUPID F*CKING MAID.She shouldn't work as a maid if she just wants to break other people marriage.

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  20. "S"... I tahu u dlm dilemma. Drpd apa yg I baca diatas tadi, u adalah seorg kakak yg megambil berat ttg perihal adik2nya. I sarankan u minta tolong dgn seseorang yg ur abah SEGAN (mgkin his siblings, his cousins, his nephews or his good fren). U ceritakan masalah & situasi u & adik2 pd that person. Pastikan org tu bole dipercayai, matang, tidak berpihak2, tegas & boleh membantu u. Obviously ape pun kata2 yg kluar dr u & adik2 mmg sudah tidak boleh diterima oleh ur abah lagi. U perlukan org tengah utk membantu. Rata2 org2 yg komen disini menasihatkan u utk report to the maid agency. U jelaskan pd org tengah itu apakah tindakan yg akan u ambil nanti. Biar org tengah itu yg luahkan segala-galanya pd ur abah. Segala gangguan emosi & fizikal yg u & adik2 alami selama ini. Dlm masa yg sama u pn bole minta pendapat drpd org tengah itu jalan yg terbaik utk huraikan masalah ini. InsyAllah org tu akan berikan saranan yg terbaik memandangkan dia pun kenal baik dgn ur abah & anak2nya. Apakah dgn bernikah dgn ur bf masalah u akan tamat? Mgkin u plan bila u sudah berumahtangga u boleh bawa adik2 u tinggal bersama u. Tapi what happen "IF" ur bakal suami tk izinkan ataupun ur bakal mertua/ ipar-duai tk setuju dgn cara u. Kelak masalah u akan bertambah. Fikirkan sedalam2 sebelum u bernikah sbb selepas bernikah kita sudah berada ditahap yg lain yg pastinya mempunyai masalah tersendiri. Akhir sekali jgn putus asa utk berikhtiar. Ada yg komen disini sarankan u cari habib2 yg bole mengubati ur abah. Apa salahnya, ini kan satu usaha. Jgn lupa juga berdoa meminta & merayu kepada Allah utk akhiri masalah ini. Semoga Allah mempermudahkan segala urusan u & adik2.

    Maafkan I jika ada kata2 yg telah menyinggungkan prasaan u. Ini hanyalah pendapat I drpd mengalaman peribadi.

    Ikhalas
    Mengerti

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  21. Suruh abahnya mengantar balik maid Indonesianya ke Indonesia, tak payah antar kat agen. Agen bukan bisa nak selesiakan masalah.Apabila masih butuh tenaga maid, suruh ambil maid selain Indonesia, misal Philipina atau Myanmar. Bagi akak-akak yang takut bungkusan yang dibawa maid Indonesia sebaiknya ambilah maid Philipina, Myanmar, India atau Srilanka.

    Tak semua maid Indonesia itu jahat. That girl saya rasa hanya satu alasannya, "dia tidak mau punya ibu tiri pembantu Indonesia.".

    Hai girl.....awak tahu tak, maid itu susah tahu untuk menikah dengan warga tempatan, perlu mendapat izin MOM terlebih dahulu. Jadi awak tak payah takut punya ibu tiri seorang maid Indonesia, karena kemungkinan besar MOM tidak mengizinkan.

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  22. Saya bersimpati pd gadis itu n saya rasa harus n patut gadis itu membuat aduan pd maid agency or apa je utk menyedarkn bapa nya n @same time tk elok kn berterusan melihat n membiarkn perkara n perbuatan terkutuk itu berlanjutan. Afa baiknya juga gadis itu duduk bersama ibunya if dia tk nk buat repot daripada menanggung dosa bersama bapa nya.

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